Mag'har Orc Flirts and Jokes, Battle for Azeroth Alpha - Build 26095 Broadcast Text

Battle for Azeroth Alpha - Build 26095

Mag'har Orc Flirts and Jokes
Originally Posted by MMO-Champion
You don't need a Dark Portal... you've already invaded my heart.
Any idea if Saurfang is single? He's got that silver fox thing going on...
A green orc gave me a candy heart that said "I fel for you." I told him he could keep his demon's blood and clobbered him with my mace.
Last person to hit on me learned what "hitting on" really means.
A Bleeding Hollow shaman just flirted with me. At least, I think he did. Either he was winking suggestively or he had just sacrificed an eye.
Just because I'm enjoying your company doesn't mean I don't also want to punch you.
Before we go any further, I need to know... How high is your pain threshold?

Hey... aren't you the one who left that abandoned garrison littering up Frostfire?
Azeroth has so many rules about who you can stab, who you can't stab... who you can punch, who you can't punch... You guys need to loosen up!
The Shattered Hand are legendary warriors, but don't ever ask one of them for a back rub. Trust me on this one... < pained sounds >
Enough of this wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... BLAH! Just let me smash stuff!
I dyed my hair green once. Warchief Hellscream was NOT amused.
You can call me uncorrupted, but I prefer to think of myself as an organic orc.
Drahnor. Draynor? Draanur. Draenor. < Sigh >. I'm just gonna say I'm from Outland.

Is your mother a fire elemental? Because you are smokin' hot!
Care to take a walk with me in the Shadowmoonlight?
Baby, I'm gonna Blackrock your world.
You're not just good looking... you're mok'gora-gous!
My safe word is "zug-zug".
I'm a sensitive guy. Please don't break my mag'heart.
Come on a date with me, and I guarantee you'll be wearing a Black Tooth Grin.

I never met Gul'dan, but I hear he was a nightmare at parties. Always trying to spike the punch bowl...
Azeroth goes through warchiefs like Draenor goes through alternate timelines.
The Laughing Skull clan booed me off the stage at the comedy club. With a name like that, you'd think they'd have a sense of humor!
Try spending a few decades trapped on a planet with fanatical draenei and see how YOU like it!
Ahhhhhh! The chiropractor in Orgrimmar has done wonders for my back.
Stay frosty, my wolves.
My favorite kind of music? Blackrock n' Roll, of course! < guitar sounds >

Misc Broadcast Text
Originally Posted by MMO-Champion
By the moons of Draenor!
Let an orc lead.
Pity this poor orc!
Show a peon some love!
Job well done.
I have brought shame upon my clan!
Pathetic! You will fall before the Mag'har!
Look pal, you're making me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
My hobby is killing things that bother me. Are you SURE you want to keep poking me?
Is everyone from Azeroth this annoying?
Strength and honor.
My battle... ends...
My spirit returns... to Draenor...
I die... a warrior...
Your end... will come...
You will lose... this war...
Ancestors... I come...
An... honorable... death...

Once our ritual completes, the Kul Tiran fleet will belong to Queen Azshara!
None shall oppose Queen Azshara!
Glory to Azshara!
Quickly, heroes, stop them before the fleet is lost!
The Kul Tiran fleet is nearly yours, my queen.
Master! Stop this madness at once! The Kul Tiran fleet must not fall to darkness!
Fool! We must return to the sea, and Queen Azshara will grant us the power to do so!
Thank you, heroes. You've returned hope to the Kul Tiran people.

Wendigo numbers have been increasing on the glacier. Go up there and change that!
There will be less of 'em coming down the mountain now. Good on yeh.
We got a big order for gryphon saddles, but we need more fur. Get to work!
Roughneck work ain't always glamorous, but it pays.
Time to nab another gryphon. Mount up!

Good thing trolls don't know a hammer from an anvil, or this construct wouldn't of broken so easily.
Now that it ain't tryin' ta kill us, I can get a closer look at it's build.
Fascinatin'! The internal workings O' this thing must a been influenced by titan construction.
Ha! If that was the quality O' their rulers, no wonder the troll empire fell.
Ya heard em! We best figure out the source O' this Old God corruption so we can drop the hammer on it!
I'll do a lil diggin' on me own. When I discover more, you'll be the first to know.

No Take Candle
There's treasure galore, but perils in store, and construction that isn't up to code.
Trespass with care, there's sure to be something rare, you can grab all the loot that you can handle!
Such riches you'll own, but leave one thing alooooooone...
And if you steal their light, you then must take flight, eluding each hazard and each trap!

They're gaining on you, your options are few,
and you fear that you're never gonna get hoooooome!
You've sought after wealth, will you lose all your heeeeealth...
to Kobolds and Catacombs?
To Kobolds and Catacombs!

Goblins / Pirates
Look, we can still turn a profit out of here!
The Irontide are squeezing me for gold, Cesi. I'm hardly making ends meet.
Well maybe the Irontide need to go, then!
Good luck getting rid of 'em! I smuggle goods. I'm no mercenary.

Congratulations boys, we're gonna be rich!
You're lookin' at the future, boys!
I give you... the rockchain!

Mekkatorque has improved upon his D.R.O.N.E. technology and needs a field evaluation of it's capabilities. We've heard there are a great number of blood trolls hiding nearby. Use it to seek and destroy!
It seems this technology will be incredibly useful for our forces. Well done!

Oh my, is that how you Alliance normally dress? You should just leave before you die from embarrassment.
Hello Alliance, is that your ship? Did a sea giant attack it, or is that how it usually looks? *laugh*

Ugh, what is that? oh, the Alliance are here. Do you know why they smell like that? It's because they eat so much cheese.
Swim into the ocean or bathe in my flames, your choice Alliance.
Business opportunities, that's what I see. Might even be able to sell the Alliance off as scrap.
Looks like this place has a lot to offer, shade, loot... Alliance? Well now it's ruined.
Channel your energies, Alliance are here. We will make no mistakes.
Focus now, worthy enemies are near. Also some Alliance as well it seems.
Oh how unfortunate. For you, Alliance. We will put you in your place soon enough.

The Elements are out of balance here, let us see if we can help. Don't get in our way Alliance.
The winds have guided us here along with the Alliance. Sometimes the elements still surprise me.
Steer clear of us Alliance, or I will be forced to crush you.
Let's keep away from them, I've heard bad things about the Alliance.
I see Alliance are here as well, and they are still alive. Let's fix that.
Looks like there are Alliance here, don't bother us and we won't bother you.
There's treasure on that island that isn't on board my ship yet. Move it you lay-abouts! Take what the Alliance have as well.

Allowing the Alliance a foothold in Zandalar would be disastrous. Salvage what you can, but give the Alliance no mercy.
Preventing them from gaining a foothold keeps our home safe. May Gonk give you swift reward for fulfilling his vengeance.

Horde savages! We will allow you to leave, if you place all of your Azerite into a nice pile for us. Do you know what a pile is?
Ahh, Horde, I'll speak slow. Island... ours... you... leave...
Horde, Unwashed, Unimaginitive, Un-encumbered of Intellect. How did you get here? Are you lost?
Shoo, bad Horde mongrels!
Know. Your. Place.
*Sniff* *Sniff* Horde! I wish I was upwind right now...
Horde! The hunt begins, let's run them down. *howls*

Oooh the Horde are here, it's about to go down.
Haha, the Horde! Yes, at last, some real action. I'm going to have to take my shirt off for this one!

Horde's here, so listen up: Do your jobs out there, or I'll shoot you myself. Form up.
Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else in history, let's make it one more.
The only good bug is a dead bug. You Horde look a lot like bugs.
We got Horde here, lock and load boys. Shoot first and loot later.
Oh boy, Horde are here, are you guys sure about this? I have delicate instruments. And they're EXPENSIVE.
Can I just do my victory pose now? You think I should kill some Horde first? Oh very well.
Classic adventure! An uncharted island, unknown dangers and treasures await! Wait, where did the Horde come from?

Your eyes seem uncertain about something, $n. You may ask me freely about my plans, if you wish.

Warchief, may I ask why we want to capture Teldrassil?

Time is sensitive here, but I respect that you seek to know more.
< Sylvanas points to Silithus on the map >.
No matter what I do, THIS will change the balance of power.
And azerite sightings are coming in from across the world, $n. We still do not know its full potential, we only know that it will create a new generation of warfare.
What will war look like in twenty years? In a hundred?
What is certain is that Teldrassil and its Night Elves pose a clear threat to the peace and safety of the Horde on Kalimdor.
Darnassus will serve as a safe harbor for smuggling azerite to the Eastern Kingdoms. We simply cannot allow this to occur.
To win this war, we must control the azerite. To control the azerite, we must eliminate the Kal'dorei threat.
We do not have time to waste.

A wall of wisps? Hah! That is nothing that our Dark Rangers and demolishers cannot overcome, my lady.
The scouting party I led to Malfurion underestimated the wisps as you do now, Nathanos. You may want to note that they did not return.
We cannot kill them -- well -- not enough of them to matter. But we may be able to disperse them.
$n, make yourself useful around camp. We need to keep the Kal'dorei's attention while I come up with a solution to our wisp problem.
Interesting. The wisps are just responding to Malfurion's call. But what if more of the forest were to cry out for help?
That is precisely what I was thinking. $n, would you be so kind as to test our theory?

The Warchief wants to scare off the wisps, eh? I have just the thing.
You wanna fly this thing? Or do you wanna drop the bombs?
I can fly. Lighting the forest on fire isn't my style.
I'm still trying to figure out the space for this. We may need to clear some trees out or get a tree asset that I can make glow.
Pretend it was awesome and that wisps broke out from the wall, creating visible cracks where you bombed.

Hmmm, this wisps were dispersing? Excellent. Our plan may just work.

Are you sure you want to do this? It has zero impact on the storyline, apart from bragging rights.

Make haste! The Warchief awaits!
Yes, Warchief.
Then it's time to finish this once and for all. Saurfang, rally your troops. I will prepare the Azerite Machine.
Champions! Your Warchief commands you! It is time to take arms against the Alliance!
Their numbers are strong, but we are stronger. We are the Horde! We conquer those who would bring us harm!
Lok'tar ogar!
Slay them all, champions! Mark my words, King Anduin and his army did not come here for our amusement - they mean to destroy us! Show them no mercy, for they would show you none in return!
Maintain your honor, heroes. Lok-narash

Meet with Lor'themar. QUICKLY! Do not fail me, Nathanos!
I obey, my queen.
Blight throwers, you're our front line! You will create a line of blight between us and the army!
Lor'themar, I want you to command our rangers from the flank! Position them on the rooftops!

The pleasure is mine, Dark Lord.
Baine! Gather the catapults and every apothecary you can find. Send them to the keep at once!
Yes, commander. Where is Saurfang?
There is no time! We have but precious moments before we lose our terrain advantage!
The chokepoint we create will funnel them through the side of the keep and thin their ranks. We will outnumber them 10 to 1 if we are out in the open!
Understood. I will meet you as soon as I can.
No. Lor'themar and I will handle the interlopers. I can't risk leaving the Warchief unguarded. You are not to leave her side.
How long are you expecting to hold them off? What is the Warchief's strategy?
It is better if she tells you herself, now go!

Hahaha! Look who joins the fray. Good, I was hoping you'd keep this interesting!
The Alliance is on its last legs, champions! More than half of their soldiers are down.
Their assault will soon falter. Stay strong!
Lordaeron belongs to the Forsaken! Do not back down, heroes!
The void elves... those traitors keep coming.
Have faith in the warchief, Theron!

Honor means nothing to a corpse, Saurfang. You have the luxury of underestimating death, but it is something with which I am intimately familiar.
Maybe you don't care if your people die so long as it is honorable, but to me, this Horde is worth saving. Anyone who disagrees does not deserve to stand among us.
So die your warrior's death, High Overlord Saurfang. It means little to me. Perhaps I will raise your broken body to serve me once more.
Or perhaps you will have a chance to say hello to your son.

Champions, with me. You are invited to bear witness to the grand finale.
Go my pets! Rip them apart!
Acolyte, tear that barricade down!
My demolisher will rip you to shreds! You only forestall the inevitable!

Flying hozen? How?
Slickies of Zandalar are wierd. Too ookin' salty, and they sometimes talk back.
Like me new wings? Fast they may be, no slicky can hide from me!
Wikkets either.
Filthy wikkets.

Juvenile Pterrordax Training
Your little one has no faith in its wings. You must continue to show it the joy of the skies.
For now we are going to teach it an object lesson.
Small thing! If you want to return to the nest, you better start running.
Juvenile Pterrordax screeches in indignation and runs off.

What's with the kite?
Well, I fixed it. You're welcome, by the way.
I noticed it was looking a little forlorn. Perhaps you could take it for another flight! It could sure use the exercise.
It takes time for it to get back up to the roost, being unable to fly and all. I'm sure it's fine.
Check back later and it should return.

< Offer the Medium Dino Food. >
< The pterrordax inspects your hands for food. >
Skree? SKREE.
Juvenile Pterrordax launches itself at the offered foot and swallows it whole.
Juvenile Pterrordax snatches the food out of the air.
Juvenile Pterrordax sniffs at the food before enthusiastically devouring it.
Juvenile Pterrordax screeches in glee and gobbles up the offered chow.
< The pterrordax tilts its head to the side as you approach. >
< The pterrordax crows in greeting. >
< The pterrordax bobs its head vigorously in your direction. >
< The pterrordax gurgles playfully at you. >
< The pterrordax sniffs at you. >
< The pterrordax snaps its jaws impatiently. >
< The pterrordax turns its head to examine you. It gives a sharp cry in greeting. >

Heart of Azeroth
Champion, come back te Silithus. I've discovered how we can be healin' Azeroth!
Magni, tell me what we can do to heal Azeroth.

Champion, I need ye at Silithus, Azeroth has been whisperin' something... your name!
The amulet can absorb azerite and grow stronger! Find more azerite, champion, and use it to empower the Heart of Azeroth.
The Heart of Azeroth can heal the planet's wounds... but ye need to get it more power if we're gonna stop it permanently.
More wounds be appearin' throughout the planet, and more forces be seekin' te use it for their own ends.
Ye need te stop these forces and absorb any azerite they be usin' te empower the heart!
Magni, I'm ready to receive Azeroth's gift.

I can be sensin' azerite nearby... and those who wouild seek to abuse it for their own ends. Ye got te stop them!
Several azerite wounds be exposed nearby, use yer Heart of Azeroth te heal them!
Ye did good, champion. I can be hearin' Azeroth recoverin' her strength, thanks te ye.
The Heart of Azeroth be gettin' stronger, thanks te ye. We be one step closer te curing Azeroth of her wounds.

Oi! $n! You think that helm goes with those boots?
I've seen horses with better transmog!

Hey, Statler, check out the gear on $n!
Yeah where'd that set drop? Off a trogg?!

You see the outfit on $n? It doesn't look half bad!
You're right! It looks all bad!

Oi, Statler, hand me my sword! There's a quilboar comin' down the road!
Waldorf that ain't no quilboar, it's just another one of them "heroes"!

What in the world is that smell?!
I think it's another one of them "heroes". Smells like somebody was standing in fire!

Well, that adventurer sure looks different.
Yeah! I mean, they look terrible, but definitely different!

$n! Oi, $n! We've got a quest for ya!
Yeah! Go find yourself a stylist!

Oi, Waldorf! Is that the "famous" $r that showed up with Jaina?
I think it is! Boy, they smell worse than I imagined! Ha!

Well well well, look what the saurolisk dragged in! It's $n!
I'd say they're looking worse for wear... but I think they always look that bad!

A new face! And a friendly one I think. Care to try something special? Or perhaps you are looking for rare spices or recipes?
You have an extensive pantry. Is there anything missing from your spice rack?
Oh! I've wanted to use Century Sauce for ages! It's a cooking paste made of several ingredients all blended together and then allowed to ferment for centuries. The longer it ferments the more complex the flavor profile. It is said to add a distinctive spice and tang to any dish.
There are rumors some of the Tortollan traders carry it, but it is rare and wildly expensive.
< Xun Xun sighs wistfully >

We tortollans have traded on this spot for a very long time. Eventually the Zandalari built up around us, but hard times have come upon them. We, of course, will endure.
Have you ever heard of something called 'Centry Sauce' ? Do you have any?
Hmmmmm. Yes. Let me look.
< Kooda rummages around for a long while before pulling out a jar from the depths of the pack. >
Bought this a couple hundred years ago. I'd forgotten about it. I suppose I could sell it.

High Perch is ours. Where's that retribution, Turalyon? I'm waiting...
Keep waiting, orc. It shall come soon enough.

We've captured High Perch. Muradin! I can see your big nose from up here!
And I can smell yer arse from down here! Bring it on, orc!

High Perch belongs to the Horde. Or should I say... the "green-skins".
Pshh. You and your kind are all the same. You'll die on your knees, like the rest did.

We've taken High Perch, and with it, the high ground. The tide is turning in our favor.
Pfah! High ground is overrated!

Muradin... we've taken High Perch. You ready to come out an' fight yet?
Soon enough, laddie. I figure I'll let me riflemen soften ye up a bit first.

High Perch is ours, Turalyon. De shadows draw closer...
Yet the Light still shines over Stromgarde.

High Perch has fallen to da Horde, Trollbane.
Shut your mouth, troll. The Alliance will prevail over your filthy army of monsters.

High Perch is ours! The Horde army is coming for you, Turalyon.
Yes... I'm counting on it.

High Perch is ours! One step closer to claiming Arathi for the Horde!
Save your celebrations, blood elf. You still have to deal with me.

Now, bring in the demolishers! Take down that gate! We'll hang that dwarf's rotten head on a pike!
Ye'll have to get to it first, laddie. Dark Irons, now!

Now, bring in the demolishers! Take down that gate! Let's show that Trollbane idiot what a few green-skins can do!
Stromgarde still stands, orc. I'll enjoy watching your corpse float in my moat. Gryphons, attack!

Now, bring in the demolishers! Take down that gate! This battle is as good as over!
I've won and lost thousands more battles than you've ever seen, Eitrigg. And this battle is far from lost. Lightforged, attack!

Bring in the demolishers! Destroy their gate! Force that dwarf to show his face!
I'll defend Stromgarde to my last, lassie. Dark Irons, your time has come!

Bring in the demolishers! Destroy their gate! Reduce Stromgarde to rubble!
I lost this city once - I won't lose it again. Especially to the likes of you. Gryphons, attack!

Bring in the demolishers! Destroy their gate! Your time has come, Turalyon!
The Light is behind me. Lightforged, bring those demolishers down!

Send in de demolishers! Dat dwarf can't hide behind his gate forever!
Bring it on, Rokhan! I've been waiting for you. Dark Irons, now!

Send in de demolishers! Destroy de gate! An' bring me de head of dat old fool Trollbane!
This old fool's still got a few tricks, troll. Gryphon riders, attack!

Send in de demolishers! No Light gonna protect dat paladin from de might of da Horde!
Now, Lightforged! Overwhelm the Horde. Bring down those tanks!

You dare invade Stromgarde, rightful home of the Trollbanes? Get out of my sight, green-skin.
"Green-skin"? Ohoho... now you've made me mad.

You dare invade Arathi? With a TROLL as your commander? You've made a terrible mistake.
Danath Trollbane... you an' I got a bone to pick! I'll be seein' ya out on the battlefield...

Ah ah ah. Ye best stop right there, lass, 'less ye want a face full o' Alliance mortar shells.
I'd like to see you try, Muradin. This is Horde territory now.
The Alliance will be at our door soon. We need to move fast. Secure wood and iron, so we can establish a position.

What's this... Horde invaders, with a paladin in command? What has this world come to?
You've been away for too long, Turalyon. The world's moved on without you.
The Alliance will be at our door soon. We need to move fast. Secure wood and iron, so we can establish a position.

Lady Liadrin! Welcome to Arathi. I trust you're here to surrender?
Hah! Think again, old man. We're here to take Stromgarde back.
The Alliance will be at our door soon. We need to move fast. Secure wood and iron, so we can establish a position.

You impudent worms have no right to be here.
Siege engines! Blast them off the map!

You were warned, Horde scum. Now prepare to be annihilated.
Siege engines, destroy them!

Focus on the task at hand. First we capture Northfold, then onward to Stromgarde!
Arathi will be ours! For the Horde!

I've won and lost thousands more battles than you've ever seen, Eitrigg. And this battle is far from lost. Lightforged, attack!
Stromgarde still stands, orc. I'll enjoy watching your corpse float in my moat. Gryphons, attack!

It's over. There's nowhere left to run.
Insolent BRAT. This is far from over!
Wait, no!
You three, get a search party down there and find her!
Hero, let's return to Katherine.
This article was originally published in forum thread:Mag'har Orc Flirts and Jokes, Battle for Azeroth Alpha - Build 26095 Broadcast Textstarted bychaudView original post